A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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