you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
