who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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