Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize