we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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