I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
