i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
