Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize