And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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