he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
