Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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