Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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