So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize