Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
