just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
