I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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