meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
