I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
