My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
