Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
