piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
