i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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