im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have tasted many bathrooms
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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