Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
