Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
