And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
