your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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