yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
