Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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