Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
