any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
