I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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