My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
