she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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