YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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