I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
