Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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