dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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