Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
