Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
