Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
