How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
