Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
