You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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