It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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