My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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