half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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