Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize