Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
