I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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