got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
