rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
