I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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