he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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