And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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