I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
