i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
