If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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