Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
