Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You don't make any sense
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My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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