After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Welp...herpes.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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