White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
