Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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