I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
