Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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