They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize