Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
