It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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