At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
