I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize