grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
